Be yourself! Everybody else is already taken.
89% people have back pain. The rest 11% doesn’t have a computer.
I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem WITHOUT it!
Let’s throw a party with fake alcohol to see how many people act wasted.
I hate it when I don’t forward a chain letter, and the next day I die.
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
The hardest part is the week after the weekend.
I need to stop saying “How stupid can you be?”, people take it as a challenge.
Oh my God! An angel!